Added: Byron Drapeau - Date: 29.10.2021 19:01 - Views: 40555 - Clicks: 2075
Search Search. Menu Sections. Everyone expects their personal relationship with their partner to be tricky at times but, in my experience, the more confusing relationships are those between female friends. T here exists a bond between women that is more complicated than most.
Its complexities lie in the fact that there are no ground rules, and expectations remain unspoken.
I remember saying to my mother that just because someone has had a boyfriend for a long time doesn't mean they've been a good boyfriend, and the same theory also applies to women in female friendships. Just because you have been friends with someone since you were two years old, or all through college, doesn't mean you have been 'good' friends -- it merely means they've been around and have known you a while.
I feel that in friendships where people have known each other a long time, there is often the assumption that you must be very close. And this, I think, is when trouble brews. I know that as I have grown up my interests, lifestyle, tastes have changed -- I am a different person. Unless your friends evolve at the same pace and in the same direction as you, this can lead to a distance growing between you over time.
Maybe you are not that pushed to be friends with a person anymore but, like most break-ups, usually one person doesn't want to let go. When I was 22 I decided that I needed a break from going out and drinking. The reaction from two of my close girlfriends was that of sheer disgust. I had wanted to do something that made me happy, but they were deeply annoyed. I found it hard to stand up for myself amid the pressure and really questioned the friendships after that.
By 27, my friends and I have all left the nest, but some of us still need nurturing. And so female friendship can become even more complicated. Boyfriends take on emotional support as part of the package, but in friendships it isn't necessarily part of the deal. If you're single once you have left home, and have outgrown calling your mum with all your problems -- there are some things that might not be suitable for her ears -- it can be a little lonely out there by yourself, and so female co-dependency can begin.
I feel that girls can often wear each other out in terms of offloading. My friend left the restaurant feeling light as a feather while I felt as if I have absorbed every detail of what is going wrong in her work, and was exhausted. The new boyfriend dilemma is another tricky situation, and, of course, it can be hard when you suddenly don't get to see your friend as much as you would like to.
But it becomes hell if you don't even like the guy she is with. A friend told me that she is in a great relationship, which she is hoping will lead to marriage. Yet, if she turned around and said she was single again, she is sure her girlfriends would be delighted, which makes her wonder if they really want what's best for her.
In short, research would say we all must assume an element of self-responsibility in managing our emotions, and take care not to speed dial the same person when trouble strikes.
Cruciall,y when things are really bad, we should seek the help of professionals. We should try not to get too dependent on one friend, by developing a wide range of friendships and interests.
Also, set personal boundaries in terms of what you will and won't put up with in friendships, and communicate this to the person. Gal pals are hard to keep. Holly White April 19 AM. Facebook Twitter. So what makes a good female friendship -- and is it ever right to drop a friend?
Trouble I feel that in friendships where people have known each other a long time, there is often the assumption that you must be very close. Related Content Femme Celeb friendships that have failed. Femme What do you like most about your best friend? Man goes viral for paying off ex-girlfriend's mortgage for her birthday.
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Gal pals are hard to keep